Replacement

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My heart
They took my heart
Replaced by parts
Lithium ion
Underneath

I move
But cannot feel
My life–unreal
I am stainless steel
Underneath

My heart
What have they done?
I miss the soft
I miss the teardrops
In my eyes

My heart
They took my heart
And what is this
My cold replacement
Underneath?

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44 responses to “Replacement

  1. OMG, your stuff is fantastic. This is just great. The REASON I never shared the hell in my mind for DECADES is because I feared being drugged up, and my life usurped by doctors and authorities. I felt, deeply, the only way to remain free was to never, never tell the world : I am suffering, depression, suicidal thought, I need help, I am isolated, I am scared, I can’t be a mother. I AM STILL GLAD I never let the authorities take over, but my lack of voice was to the detriment of my son in the end.

    So this is great – I really feel it. It reminds me of the film ‘FRANCES FARMER’ which stars Jessica Lange. EVERYONE READING THIS HAS TO SEE IT AND REPORT BACK TO ME!!! I feel strongly about this film, strongly.

    Thanks Vampire Weather – you are a very worthwhile read.

    • I must see that. The closest I can recall coming to an exposure to the movie is the Nirvana song. I can relate to the fear of medication and sedation. I do not take medicines of any kind. I do not like to dull the pain, really. If physical pain is the body’s way of sounding the alarm on problems which require attention, then emotional pain is equally important in revealing to us the nature of the crisis inside us. I can identify with your thoughts, and I appreciate the nature of the suffering you have detailed in your work. Thank you for stopping by and taking time to comment

  2. I found your heart I met it on the dawn. It seemed lost and lonely it’s sadness made me morn! I wrapped it in my prettiest scarf and gave it a good hot drink. We had a little chat and now it’s on it’s way back to you. It promised to do it’s best for you and it will I think!
    I love the poem.

  3. I have wondered if this is how one feels after having a pace-maker installed! Seriously, I DO think many people too often strive to replace their own hearts with lithium ion and steel in order not to hurt any more! Well, you can’t hurt that which is already dead, right?

  4. Forged of stainless steel
    My unbeating heart
    It can not feel
    He pushed me
    Into the hardening fire
    Igniting my iron ire
    Into myself I retreated
    And told myself he was not what I needed

    I know what you mean. Being a teenage girl, I admit I am highly emotional and just as quickly as my soul and heart harden they melt.
    Andrea

  5. Oh, V W, you’ve done it again!! This is so powerful, and such a unique metaphor (and what I would imagine it to be if it were literal). And your writing is, as usual, perfectly flowing and rhythmic, with the throbbing of what you are feeling. Wonderful writing, my friend!

    “I’d rather be barefoot with ouch, than never to feel anything.”

    • Thank you for your thoughts. The statement “better to have loved and lost…” has gone through my mind a few times, but somehow I try that on “it’s better to have stepped on a landmine than to never have gone out for a walk” and I’m not sure I buy it. In any case, my love is not lost yet. Not really…

      Thank you

      • I agree, when you put it like that… it’s about letting ourselves be vulnerable, to a certain degree – but about not taking a walk if we’re smelling land mines outside. We need to trust our instincts….

  6. Such a great poem, and it invokes so many feelings and thoughts in me, as most all your poems do. I’ve been meaning to ask you about your artwork. I can sometimes makes out a face or a hand or an object, it’s really fascinating, each one like a little puzzle, a small glimpse into you and your world.
    In this one I can see a man playing piano, is that you? Actually VW i’ve known you for awhile now but I have no idea if you’re a man or a woman, so if its not you at the piano please don’t be offended lol.

    • Thank you for the kind words. Each one is truly a piece of my world, and I have been in some of the images, but the man at the piano is not me. Indeed that piano is hundreds of miles from me at the moment, but I have sat at it before. I have considered posting a picture of myself here, but I find that mystery is a greater allure to our hearts, and perhaps it would force people to associate my words too closely with a face. My words are always from my heart, however I long for them to become the words of others. I long for them to express for others and for the viewers to make them their own. That is one reason I do not add credits or copyrights, although I would promote plagiarism–everything here is me. All the images and words are mine and my creations, so there is no need to claim pieces. The only thing I didn’t create was the template for this blog and the codes that make it work. You will see me in images, and you are welcome to ask questions about them, as a matter of fact I very much appreciate the questions. They are like great compliments–someone caring enough to ask. You can find my eyes on the post “Interwoven” if that helps ๐Ÿ™‚

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