Dead, Rising

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The dirt is fresh beneath the fingernails
And I cannot deny
I tried to bury them in shallow graves
But they refuse to die
I must have crafted some immortal strains
And grafted in the cells
Of something stronger than the common things
We hold within ourselves

Now it appears my current company
Is not about to leave
And all the feelings that are haunting me
Will not be put to sleep
So, in the doorway of my heart, I halt
Unmoving where I stand
I hear them clawing out to find me
With the shovel in my hand

And maybe I should be ashamed to think
I tried to put them down
But I am fighting for my life tonight
Against the hollow sound
Of all the beauty I believed in once
Before I found it dead
I hear the memories of lovely things
Like zombies in my head

The empty graveyard of my passion aches
With graves I cannot fill
They rise and follow me to bed at night
Despite my pleading will
So I suppose I will not bury them
At least, no more today
For I am far too tired-handed now
To lift this weighted spade

Suture

Piece by piece
Needles repairing me
Faded from sight
Drawing a line
Crisscross the wound

Stoke by stroke
Strings pull the edges close
Sealing the gash
Healing at last
Here in this room

It won’t take much
To tear this all apart again
Sensitive touch
To save a broken heart again
Sometimes I slip
And bleed from all these scars again
I bite my lip
And go back to the start again

Maybe in time
I’ll hold together well
Toughen my skin
Harder within
Fend off the world

Stitch by stitch
Coming together now
Struggle to stand
For all that I am
Spirit unfurled

This therapy
To exercise my thoughts within
Is there in me
To reach out for a closer friend
So bear with me
The stains are all on accident
I tear and bleed
But one day all these wounds will mend

Happy Face

I think I need time or space
Maybe just a bit of both
To bring back a smiling face
Tonight it’s out on loan
Not that I’m all that sad
I think it’s the aftermath
Of crying too hard too much
And they don’t make pills for that

The pillows I sleep with know
Oh when it rains it pours
I turned all my insides out
There’s nothing to say anymore
But I’ll get along just fine
And soon I will find a place
To translate these tears of mine
And put on a happy face

Trouble has come and gone
Maybe it hangs around
I don’t feel like checking tonight
It’s late and I need to lay down
The world is an awkward place
For being a sensitive type
There’s too many ways to fall
And not enough help to rise

But I’ve got a drink beside
The bed stand where I will sleep
The headache will fade by then
Along with the rest of me
I do what I can to believe
The choices we make will count
For something beyond these dreams
It’s all worth the cost for now

It could be worse I suppose
And that’s what I tell myself
We have to keep feeding our hope
We have to keep up our health
When all of these tragic times
Have turned into history
I’ll look back and say it’s alright
It’s still worth it all to me