My Muse Is Gone

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My muse has gone
Alone, I cradle souvenirs
Her phantom dances in the songs
That haunt my ever-waking dreams
Against the vacant beckoning
I hold a tired candle light
A vigil of my sanity
For memories
Of fantasies
And better things

My muse has gone
And, in the absence of my tears
The shadows, in a desperate throng
Are clinging tight beneath my eyes
I harbor them–my dark disguise
A mask across my empty face
Expressionless
Impressions of
This cold embrace

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Of Those Who Were

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Walls–they tell of those who were
The visage, faded, once was clear
Oh where have you then disappeared?

Into the night? Across the sea?
Or do those jaded memories
Still haunt your halls, as they do me?

Foregone–the night so cleverly
With darkness swallows every tear
A soundless cry on soundless ears

But walls–they loath forgetfulness
And not as I do they so turn
Their stories are not fast unlearned

In somber unrelenting tones
A chorus of distress is sung
For spirits absent far too long

T’would be such bliss to quell their taunt
But as I seek I find you not
And feel at last I am forgot

Mimic

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You lie
You lie
You evil thing
You look so much like one I love
But you are only pixels made to mimic what I crave

You lie
You lie
You wicked light
A mockery of smiles and life
You useless substitution for the things I fight to save

You lie
To me
So bold, you do
And I, too desperate to see
Am taken in your faking like a starving little wretch

You lie
You give
Me plastic food
But still I grasp it hungrily
This tiny morsel of the thought–the last of what is left

Migratory

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So delicate against my palm
My pretty bird
I held you close
And cradled you when you would come
To call upon me

With every note your precious song
Awakened love
Inside my heart
A symphony of open sky
And clouds below me

I curse the cold that drove you out
A banished form
A faded tune
To come no more against my ears
Or cheer the lonely

And pray someday you may return
My migratory
Little bird
I paid your passage with my tears
And miss you always

No Reply

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I found the tears
They were waiting for me
In the driver’s seat
On an empty street
Parked over the line
Where no one cared
Jill Phillips told me
“If we danced like this everyday”
But I cannot breathe
And just barely move
Enough to push it out
All of it out
This God-awful pain
But I don’t complain
I can be civil and sweet
Faceless and obsolete
I just wish that life
Could go away
Stop nursing me back to health
Just leave me here
To slip into the dark
In the car
With a guitar and a bleeding heart
Beneath blinking red lights
Can I come home tonight?
“I want to go home tonight”
I. Want. To. Go. Home.
But there is no reply

Healer

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Down is not where you belong
A creature of such grace
Should never need a cage

Though your body is not strong
And sometimes misbehaves
The molecules betray you

I would take the very breath out of my lungs
To give you one more moment
If I could be your healer

I would break the hands of death to keep you warm
And give you one more moment
If I could be your healer

I would siphon off the blood
And steal the beats from my own heart
If I could save the ones I love
Is it too late to wake them up?

I would trade my fading pulse
And break my hourglass apart
If I could give the grains to you
If there was something I could do

I would forfeit all the smiles that I am losing anyway
To put the stars back in your sky and for a moment make you safe
Do we have to be so helpless? Does this distance have to be?
I wish I could be your healer

How I miss you here with me

Passing Notes

Scratching away
Marks for the days
Etched in stone
Along these walls
Ear to the ground
Praying for sound
To let me know
That all is well

Fighting for air
Cracks in the wall
Passing notes
Clasping hope
Justice will come
Love will prevail
To shake these bars
And break these cells