To Pull You Closer To My Heart

20121118-020508.jpg
Dreaming of a dialogue
Waking to an empty room
Singing of a foreign life
Sleeping in a shallow tomb
Oh, it’s easier than we would like
Being empty oh so deep inside
When the smiles take your breath away
But we didn’t really feel that way
Did we?

Shaken to the inner core
Radiant–a shade of love
Taken to return no more
Taken what should be enough
Oh, it’s easier than we pretend
Holding everything beneath our skin
When the beauty makes you turn your head
But the ghosts are always in my bed
Did we?

Dreaming of a dialogue
Maybe through a clouded glass
Whispers in a borrowed car
Something for my hand to clasp
Oh, it’s easier than we believe
When we turn around again to leave
Does our story ever wear you out?
Do the memories feel as faded now?
Did we?

Saving all my energy
Palms outstretched as I emerge
Dreams are never what they seem
Coming up for air is hard
But it’s easier than letting on
That the little things are passing on
If I encountered you in open air
Would you remember me like I was there?
Did we?

Dreaming of a dialogue
Messages and simple words
Even though I know it’s gone
Sometimes, with the night, returns
Shadows of a dearest friend
And I feel like I could fly again
With my arms outstretched into the dark
To pull you closer to my heart
But your gone
And I’m here
Going on
And I ask
Was it dreams?
Was it real?
Did we?

Conjure You

20120317-005235.jpg
Lonely, I conjure you
But conjure you is all that I can do
Spells with which I summon you
Are whispers that this empty night rebukes

Lonely, I conjure you
A figure woven of the finest air
Ghosts and stolen residue
Afoot upon the vagrant shards of moon

Lonely, I call for you
In saline brews of misbegotten eyes
Wrung from hollow avenues
Of brokenhearted alabaster truth

Lonely, I conjure you
But conjure you is all that I can do
Phantasms and dreams of you
Are dancing slowly in this burning room

Paper Cuts

20120103-150651.jpg
Paper cuts
Like razor blades
On tired wrists
A slow release
In rhythmic drips
A clock that ticks

Stretching words
Like knotted rope
From silent lips
Fraying and coarse
The knot–it slips
To snap my neck

Swallowed thoughts
Like colored pills
From bottled hopes
An overdose
A last recourse
My sentence passed

Healer

20111109-221111.jpg
Down is not where you belong
A creature of such grace
Should never need a cage

Though your body is not strong
And sometimes misbehaves
The molecules betray you

I would take the very breath out of my lungs
To give you one more moment
If I could be your healer

I would break the hands of death to keep you warm
And give you one more moment
If I could be your healer

I would siphon off the blood
And steal the beats from my own heart
If I could save the ones I love
Is it too late to wake them up?

I would trade my fading pulse
And break my hourglass apart
If I could give the grains to you
If there was something I could do

I would forfeit all the smiles that I am losing anyway
To put the stars back in your sky and for a moment make you safe
Do we have to be so helpless? Does this distance have to be?
I wish I could be your healer

How I miss you here with me

For A Moment The World Does Not Exist

20111104-235017.jpg
Float off inside the hum
Like a monotonous choir
Of a small mechanical device
Serenading me
I can feel at peace
As if the world does not exist
And I am not in it
But gone
Far away in some dimension
Where belonging is not a quest
And living is not a duty
For a moment I am unconcerned
With all the things that burdened these seconds
With life and love and sanctity
And I can just be
Me

The Band Played On

20110925-155248.jpg
Oh God, we’re sinking slowly
Cold and lonely
This is a tragedy

These icy depths below me
Rising slowly
Witness calamity

Oh God, where are you now
We will drown and
What will they say of you?

The lights are going out
All around me
What are we meant to do?

And the band played on
A melody
A sad sad song
Hear the horns and strings
And the whole world crashed
Down on me
While the band played on
Through the final scene

Oh God, we die so soon we
Don’t have time to
Say our last goodbyes

This gaping wound that makes us
Doomed before we
Ever close our eyes

Oh God, I wanted this I
Don’t have strength to
Point the blame at you

But as we’re going down these
Fates appear so
Cruel and undue

And the band played on
A melody
A last surrender
To the deep
While the whole world crashed
Down on me
But the band played on
And so did we

Vespers For Solace

Flickers of flame for a soul in the earth
Vespers for memories past in the night
Sounds in the silence now signaling birth
Echoes entombed

Wake for the dead in a sacred parade
Solace for love laid to rest in the cold
Dwelling unearthed on the edge of the spade
Warm in the womb

Sealed in the chambers that gather the lost
Marked here with etchings of deepest remorse
Laid under velvet and satin so soft
Eternal room

Moonlight as traced on the white of her dress
Sprinkles the roses in watch on the wall
Distance and dissonance sadly confess
Somber in tune

That somewhere in unison life is emerging
Somewhere in harmony death meets divine
Mourning bereft of it’s power in purging
Withers in bloom

Tragicomical

I find it funny
How truly sad
A twisted humor
A wicked stab

I can’t help laughing
A bitter jest
So entertaining
And so grotesque

We are a comedy of tragedy
Where punch lines never end
Comedians in agony
In improvised routines
The irony is beautiful
The gag is so divine
A comedy of tragedy
A sketch not well defined

Zero Visibility

The sky cried “mutiny”
The blue jumped ship
Into a sea of white
And now it covers me
Like waves of pale
Awash across the light

The sun is drowning in
A tidal wave
Of color-vacant hues
The waters overhead
Have swallowed up
The last and best of blue

And we are left here
In zero visibility
A quiet rest where
The atmosphere collapsed
I must confess: here
In zero visibility
I’m better dressed for
My disappearing act

Beneath the vapor
In zero visibility
The clouds have anchored
The buildings fade to shapes
I want to stay here
In zero visibility
To hide away here
In blankets of the grey

All At Once

Strickened by a thought I lost the focus for
Like a dream that drains away before your eyes are wide
Overtures of other days and other words

But I’m not quite sure
How the lines are connected

And I’m not quite pure
But I fought these infections

It’s the lives we make
Out of wakened affections

It’s the chances left
For a place imperfected

All at once
I see you
As you always were
In the corners of my mind

All at once
I see you
And I don’t deserve
How the love you gave was blind

Everything Is Tainted

When your eyes are scratched
By objects unforgiving
When your vision warps
The colors you perceive
Everything is tainted

When your hands are marked
By scars that steal the feeling
When your fingers reach
For things you cannot find
Everything is tainted

When your dreams are gripped
By demons uninvited
When your sleep is torn
In pieces you can’t mend
Everything is tainted

When your heart is broke
By bitter disappointment
When a void replaces
Things you once believed
Everything is tainted

Humdrum Heart

Wake up, you tired little muscle
Don’t let me down today
I know you’ve been working overtime
Just keep some blood in my veins
We have a lot to accomplish
If we work together I’m sure
We will find rest out here someday
The humdrum of living will disappear

Sleep when you can
Don’t lose your rhythm
Keep yourself warm
You can’t stop giving
I still depend
On you being steady
So wake up, my friend
Although you are heavy

I will take care to protect you
If you won’t abandon me now
I can’t guarantee I won’t break you
I guess we both know how that worked out
We still have daylight for living
And moonlight for being alone
Wake up and bring me some color
We have so much to get done

Sleep when you can
Don’t lose your rhythm
Keep yourself warm
You can’t stop giving
People can’t see
How you’ve been exhausted
But they can see me
And I need to make it

So wake up, you tired little muscle
Don’t let me down today
I know you don’t feel like moving
But please keep some blood in my veins
We have a lot to accomplish
If we work together I’ll bet
We can be all they expected of us
So please don’t give up on me yet

I’d Like To Respectfully Decline

I know you want to see my eyes
But the shades are so nice
And my tears are not dry
So if it’s quite alright
I think I’d like to respectfully decline

Untimely

For hands that lift the fallen
Shift the heart from severed calling
Stolen love from life forsaken
So untimely from you taken

From the empty reach extending
From the emptiness unending
Shattered words now left unspoken
Silent packages unopened

For the ears where quiet settles
Dreamt of noises drowned and muffled
By a silken veil dissevered
For the seconds ticking ever

Lips unmoving in their slumber
Tides retreating pulled us under
And unwittingly we followed
Fears as one and joys as hollow

For the heart left unrequited
For the wrongs left still unrighted
In the bed your form indented
Now unfilled and unattended

And the music keeps it’s beating
For the world undone and bleeding
While the solemn angel’s finger
With no charge for which to linger

Moves to part the summer evening
Ray of hope for light deceiving
Drawn by fragile blossoms beauty
Trade the guardian his duty

For the eyes not understanding
For the mind as mine demanding
This our plight not yet determined
Not by sight nor yet by sermon

Tear these torrid shadows lurking
Out the rooms of victims hurting
Mend the ancient circle’s spinning
Set in motion from beginning

For the lifeless and the broken
For the remnant still and chosen
For the living and the dying
For these fleeting glimpses trying

To unravel this–the fabric
Of our stringed and stranger labyrinth
We are lost but not forgotten
Left to live as life our coffin

Bland

Nothing tastes as something should
I wish to have no drink or food
For nothing seems to fill my need
And nothing suits me half as good
Or satisfies me quite as well
As being with someone I love
So nothing sounds like something good
Though everything seems like it should
The only cause that I conclude
Could cause me not to wish for food
Is that I’m hungry this is true
But maybe it’s from missing you
And nothing else has quite the taste
To fill the hunger or replace
The smiles that you provided me
Or comfort felt in your embrace
Nothing tastes as something can
When all is well and right again
Perhaps the mind is meant to sense
A better flavor with a friend
So nothing tastes like something should
For nothing could be quite as good
As being with someone you love
And suddenly I wish I could

Speaking To An Empty Room

It’s like a surgical procedure as I separate the sound
From the things I feel inside of me and how it all turned out
As I tear a little piece of me from underneath my skin
It becomes a rough translation of the state that I am in

Unintentionally
I opened my mouth
And the sound that came out was “I miss you”
But there was nothing to say
The room was empty
And it echoed it back to me “I miss you”

What happened
I’m talking to myself again
I must be crazy

It’s not that I
Don’t know how to live
It’s just that lately

Nothing feels
Like reality
It’s all a little strange

I guess that I
Have a lot to live for
But I just need to say

I miss you
Sometimes I just smile pretending you are there
I miss you
Sometimes I just cry for no reason at all
I miss you
I would not trade any moment I have had
I miss you
In the end I know it’s really not so bad

No one knows the way I feel
Except for you and this empty room
No one hears these little words
But it’s the least that I could do

Unintentionally
I opened my mouth
And the sound that came out was “I miss you”
But there was nothing to say
The room was empty
And it echoed it back to me “I miss you”

And I could almost hear your voice…

Tragedy Is In Love With Me

Tragedy is in love with me
And I’m in love with her
Can you see what she’s done to me

Tragedy is my bestest friend
I take her everywhere
We can be what we want to be

Tragedy is in love with me
And she can be so sweet
Everything is a fantasy

Tragedy is my nearest kin
I feel her in my blood
We can be what we want to be

Tragedy is in love with me
She likes to hold my hand
We make up when we disagree

Tragedy is my mirror mask
She always understands
We can be what we want to be

Tragedy is in love with me
She never wants to leave
Every evening she follows me

Tragedy is my better half
She helps my heart believe
We can be what we want to be

24,901

Twenty four thousand miles
The circle of this sphere
Surely somewhere there’s a place for me

Twenty four thousand miles
And anywhere but here
I don’t know where I would rather be

But I would like to belong
And I would like to be home

Twenty four thousand miles
Across this speck of dust
Floating in an endless open space

Twenty four thousand miles
The distance between us
I want to set the galaxies ablaze

And I just want to belong
And I just want to be home

I want to tear apart the sky
Rip the colors from the leaves
Burn the atmosphere to static

If we could light it all on fire
Maybe then I could believe
We could rise up from the ashes

I can’t feel anything at all
But I feel nothing very well
Someone wake me when it’s over

I’ll either choose to sleep it off
Or I will blow us all to hell
I guess I’ll go back to the covers

But I just want to belong
And I just want to be home

If Skin Is A Cell

If skin is a cell
Then bodies are prisons
If mind is a hell
Then nightmares are demons
If life is a stage
Then death is our curtains
If love is a game
Then rules are uncertain
If eyes are a frame
Then windows are tinted
If time is a father
Then mine is abusive
If skin is a cell
Then I need pardon
If love never fails
Then this is my bargain

Parasite

Cocooned within beneath the skin
With tentacles like vices closing
Ever tighter underneath
They tear at me until exposing

How I suffer
Though I try to exercise these demons
I thought I had the strength to face this in your absence

How I suffer
Though I try injecting all of these reasons
But I’m host to all the faceless empty caverns

Wake up screaming am I dreaming
I think it’s eating me alive on the inside
You can’t see it on the surface
But I think it’s eating me alive on the inside

Oh God it’s the parasite
I think I’ve given it a name
Oh God please be here tonight
Before I drive myself insane
We all are an entity
I cannot separate
These open wounds brought the parasite
I cannot amputate

I think it’s eating me alive on the inside
I only want to see your eyes for a while
I think it’s eating me alive on the inside
Theres no resistance for the vacancy you left